I read this quote on Tumblr, having been reblogged by an author I follow:
“Cakes have gotten a bad rap. People equate virtue with turning down dessert. There is always one person at the table who holds up her hand when I serve the cake. No, really, I couldn’t she says, and then gives her flat stomach a conspiratorial little pat. Everyone who is pressing a fork into that first tender layer looks at the person who declined the plate, and they all think, That person is better than I am. That person has discipline. But that isn’t a person with discipline; that is a person who has completely lost touch with joy. A slice of cake never made anybody fat. You don’t eat the whole cake. You don’t eat a cake every day of your life. You take the cake when it is offered because the cake is delicious. You have a slice of cake and what it reminds you of is someplace that’s safe, uncomplicated, without stress. A cake is a party, a birthday, a wedding. A cake is what’s served on the happiest days of your life. This is a story of how my life was saved by cake, so, of course, if sides are to be taken, I will always take the side of cake.”
― Jeanne Ray
and it got me to thinking. On the face of it it’s a wonderful sentiment – enjoy the little moments in your life. One piece isn’t going to harm you.
But if you read further it’s basically the speaker condemning the person abstaining from the cake without any knowledge of why they did it. The speaker is really saying “I know more about your situation than you do, so I’m entitled to judge you.” The quote presents the abstainer as the smugly superior person when really it’s the speaker. And for some reason it infuriates me. What if I were to flip this around, change the subject of the quote?
“Alcohol has gotten a bad rap. People equate virtue with turning down a drink. There is always one person at the table who holds up her hand when I serve the wine. No, really, I couldn’t she says, and then gives her flat stomach a conspiratorial little pat. Everyone who is raising thier glass for that first sip looks at the person who declined the drink, and they all think, That person is better than I am. That person has discipline. But that isn’t a person with discipline; that is a person who has completely lost touch with joy. A single drink never made anybody drunk. You don’t drink the whole bottle. You don’t drink a whole bottle every day of your life. You take the wine when it is offered because the wine is delicious. You have a glass of wine and what it reminds you of is someplace that’s safe, uncomplicated, without stress. Wine is a party, a birthday, a wedding. Wine is what’s served on the happiest days of your life.”
Really, if someone decides they don’t want to share in a food/drink that you enjoy, who are you to judge them for that?